The Range Blaster is KAZUKIN's natural enemy.
Do you know the weapon called the “Range Blaster”?
From far away,
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!
the moment that explosion sound approaches, KAZUKIN hurriedly dives behind cover.
I'm not doing anything wrong. I was just walking along with my roller.
But the moment I hear that sound, my body hides on its own. It's a conditioned reflex.
What's especially troublesome is a Range Blaster lurking near the bottom of a ledge.
“Is it still there...?”
I step out just one step to check.
Pop!
Ah, it's there.
The next moment I think that,
Pop!
DEATH.
I only looked, and now I'm watching the battlefield from the sky.
Cursed Range Blaster...
The installment-plan one-hit kill
Basically, a Range Blaster doesn't kill you in one shot unless it's a direct hit. So in theory, it's “not a one-hit kill.”
But in KAZUKIN's feeling, it's a complete one-hit kill.
Because if I take the first shot, I almost always take the second too. The first shot catches my feet, and as I slow down, the second one flies in.
Pop! Pop! Done.
Isn't this effectively a one-hit kill? It's just paid in installments; the final result is the same.
Unreachable distance, the mystery of bandwidth throttling
Plus its range is long. I swing my roller desperately to fling ink, and—nope, doesn't reach.
KAZUKIN's ink runs out of steam just short of the Range Blaster. Meanwhile, its blast reaches me just fine.
What's the difference? We're supposed to be using the same ink; is only mine under a data cap?
There was no point hiding behind cover...
Then I just hide behind obstacles. Use a wall as a shield and wait for it to approach. A perfect plan.
Pop!
Yes, I take the blast.
I hide one step deeper.
Pop!
Yes, I take it again.
There was no point hiding behind cover...
And when I desperately try to close the distance, the Range Blaster fires while backing away. However much I chase, the distance doesn't shrink.
KAZUKIN, hugging his roller, keeps taking only blasts.
By the time I finally get close, I'm already on the verge of death. One step more. Really, just one step more.
But that one step never reaches.
近づけなかったね・・
Summary
And today again, only KAZUKIN's roller lies quietly on the ground.
KAZUKIN Rating
- 💥 Conditioned reflex on hearing the explosion — ★★★★★
- 📏 Range difference (hopeless) — ★★★★★
- 🧱 Point of hiding behind cover — ★☆☆☆☆
- ➗ The installment-plan one-hit-kill theory — ★★★★☆
- 😩 Annoyance — ★★★★★
This article is KAZUKIN's personal opinion and record. Game specifications and weapon performance are as of writing and may have changed. “Splatoon,” “Nintendo Switch” and other trademarks belong to their respective owners.